The Struggle with Self Compassion

As a therapist, I see clients who come to the counseling office with numerous issues. Loss of a relationship, job changes, anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, illness, or just plain unhappiness with the way life currently is going.

One thing that is common amongst humans. We are innately wired to be on the outlook for danger, always assessing their surroundings to protect themselves. It is our habitual nature to turn towards the negative, and blame outward sources for our unhappiness.

Today, this habit serves less of a purpose, and can manifest in an outward blaming game.

When clients come to therapy, initially there is what therapists call a “presenting problem”. My boss, my wife, my job, my circumstances, if only I had the money, the promotion, the relationship.. the list goes on.

By creating a safe environment for understanding and growth, slowly clients come to realization that their perception, not circumstances, must change for true growth to occur.

And that growth isn’t linear. It doesn’t look pretty written in glitter ink. But it’s honest. And it’s vulnerable. And it’s real. And honestly isn’t that what we are all here for in the end?

The struggle with self compassion is, we have to be vulnerable with ourselves and look in the dark corners and crevices, deep down in the root of the mind that may have memories and circumstances that don’t feel good.

By exploring these emotions in a safe environment with a trusted person, self compassion can begin to manifest on the journey to healing.

Are you ready to truly forgive yourself? Are you ready to look in the dark corners and roots to heal?

Rumi once said “maybe you are searching amongst the branches, for what only appears in your roots”

Wishing you health and wellness!

Michelle Smith

LMHC, MS

michelle.smith.lmhc@gmail.com

Coping and Thriving in The New Year

Reflecting on the past and looking forward to the new year can bring up some sticky, funky, real and raw emotion that can leave you feeling depleted

The holidays can be a very emotionally exhausting experience:

?Maybe you have had a year of loss and are experiencing intense grief

?Maybe financial burdens and family and social obligation brought fleet of exhaustion that left you feeling emotionally debilitated

?Without proper attention, these feelings can manifest into longer term mental health concerns.

It’s important to take time and space in the beginning of the year to reflect where your going.

Take the time to set your intentions for 2019. Do you need more peace? love? patience? courage?

Whatever it is write it down. Look at it often. Make the commitment to you.

The more challenging part is protecting your energy throughout the year to manifest your intention to its fullest potential.

It’s easy to get sidetracked from our goals thanks to negative coping habits, toxic relationships, and fear of not being good enough.

It’s important to have a concrete plan on how you will protect your energy in 2019.

?How will you set your boundaries in 2019?

?What kind of emotional shield or armor will you put on to protect your peace?

?How will you make the commitment to consistently reapplying your shield during stressful times of the year?

If you are struggling with questions such as these, and believe mindfulness based counseling would be helpful to you I provide free phone consultations to potential new clients. I hope to hear from you in the new year!

Wishing you peace in mind, body, and spirit in 2019!

Warmly,

Michelle Smith

LMHC, MS

(305) 204-6378

Therapy Doesn’t Have to Be Scary: What to Know Before You Go

Many times fear of the unknown stops potential clients from making that first phone call to begin receiving treatment, but therapy doesn’t have to be scary!

Keep reading for some important information to help ease anxiety you may have about seeking mental health treatment.

Therapists Do Not Provide Advice

If you are new to understanding therapy, you may believe entering a clinician’s office you will be expected to spill your deepest darkest secrets in record time, only to have someone sitting across from you say, “Well all you need to do is…” Although this is a very common ideology, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Seeking mental health treatment is different than speaking to family and friends about your feelings because we are trained specifically NOT provide advice to clients. Therapists instead will ask questions to support unlocking the wisdom already inside.

A therapist’s intention across the couch is to support the clients treatment goal progress by providing psychoeducation, and debunking irrational fears and beliefs while building a trusting and safe relationship.

Sounds less horrific already right??

You Have Control of Your Treatment

Another fear many clients come to the initial session with is that the therapist will control and manipulate treatment. For example dictating what is talked about during each session, or pushing clients to talk of uncomfortable issues before they are ready.

In reality, the therapeutic relationship (between the therapist and the client) is one of the most treasured and important parts of the process. Depending on your comfortability, it may take a few sessions before you are ready to begin diving into the content you came to seek a professional for… AND That’s OK!

While beginning treatment, your therapist will collaboratively work with you to identify your goals. Never feel pressured to share information you don’t feel comfortable with yet to try to get to results faster.

Let your therapist know how you are feeling. You will take an active part in treatment… after all, it is your life we’re talking about!

Confidentiality

Finally, and most importantly is the myths behind confidentiality which is the cornerstone of effective therapy. Confidentiality is simply, your right to privacy.

HIPPA, or the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, ensures your medical records and personal health information, including psychotherapy and mental health information, remains private.

That means, without your written permission your therapist cannot legally share any personal information to your family, friends, boss, cousin, or partner. They actually can’t even disclose if you are even their client or not without a release of information…(talk about hush hush!)

Keep in mind, there are certain limitations to confidentiality, which your therapist should explain in detail during your initial session.

There are benefits to utilizing a private pay therapist, if confidentiality is a major importance to your treatment. If your therapist appears unclear or rushes through confidentiality and it’s limitations, be sure to ask questions such as:

    What types of communication with my therapist are confidential ( ie: in person, email, phone, text etc.)
    If I’m billing insurance or using EAP what information is shared to my insurance agency/ workplace?
    What is the benefit of private pay regarding confidentiality?
    What are the limitations of confidentiality?

As a therapist, I have the amazing privilege of sitting alongside my clients journey, as they take inventory of personal feelings, emotions, and mental status.

This Halloween don’t let fear stop you from creating a life worth living! Begin discovering yourself TODAY with Michelle Smith Counseling, located off Northlake Blvd in Palm Beach Gardens, FL

Contact me at 405-323-1786 for more information on my therapeutic approach

Happy Halloween,

Michelle Smith

MS, RMHCI

michellesmith@discoveryourselftoday.com

405-323-1786

3 Myths about Psychotherapy and Why it Can Drastically Benefit Your Life

In the last few years, their has been a dramatic shift in nations focus towards mental health. From school shootings, increase in suicides, and family separation at our nations borders now more than ever Americans are understanding the importance of mental health awareness. Unfortunately many are still skeptical about reaching out to professionals for therapy. In an effort to break the stigma around mental health, today I discuss a few myths regarding the therapeutic process. My hope is to encourage individuals, couples, and families to seek support and engage in holistic approach to their healing journey

1. Going to therapy means I’m “weak, flawed, or “crazy” This myth couldn’t be farther from the truth! Mental health professionals work with clients with many different concerns from severe mental illnesses to life transitions, adjustment disorders, familial conflict and more. Therapy can benefit anyone who is willing and ready to better their life, and it can be extremely effective when clients seek counsel prior to the issues becoming overwhelming and unbearable. Their is no specific “criteria” to see a mental health provider and it’s important to let go of your ideas of therapy from what you’ve seen in the movies and TV. Part of breaking the stigma around mental health is being willing to reach out when you think can utilize extra support. Even therapists see their own therapists (yes it’s true!) If you feel that you could benefit from therapy, reach out to a few providers and begin doing research! It may be the best decision you end up making for your life.

2. I’ve talked to everyone and no one has been helpful. Why will a therapist be different? Their is a vast difference between confiding in a friend or family member and talk therapy. For one, therapy does not rely on a therapist’s wisdom for answers. Therapy is a process in which a client and professional utilize evidence based interventions and strategies to uncover a clients reality nonjudgementallh in the comfort of a safe environment. Therapy works because of a strong therapeutic alliance created between a therapist and a client. A therapist’s role in the counseling room is to provide insight, confront cognitive distortions, and overall lead the client to conclusions, increase their coping strategies, and encourage effective decision making. The difference between talking to a friend about your issues and attending therapy is when talking to friends and family members you may receive guidance or advice from their personal experiences and become invalidated during the process. How many times have you attempted to share a feeling to a loved one, only to be disappointed when the loved one turns the focus on them saying something like, “When I went through that I just picked myself up.. you should too!” You may even find friends and family trying to sway you in a certain directions for their own agendas. Therapists rarely provide clients with advice. Instead therapists work to provide you with information and guide you to make the moves you need to have a fulfilled life on YOUR terms!

3. Therapy will make me worse

For survivors of childhood trauma, domestic violence, or abuse and neglect the thought of reliving these memories can be extremely anxiety provoking. Even if you are not a victim of trauma, is it normal to have fear that discussing these concerns may bring up buried emotions. To combat this anxiety remember therapy likely will reveal many emotions, and your therapist is trained to help you progress, channel, and let go of those memories that are no longer serving you. Make sure to chat with your therapist and request them to walk you through your treatment plan so you can take a collaborative approach to your healing journey! Therapy is a process, it may feel “worse” before it gets better; however, your therapist will continue to guide you without becoming overwhelmed in a safe and nurturing environment.

Beginning therapy is an important and courageous decision! Therapy is an effective tool to increase mental well-being and overall happiness in your life.

If you or someone you know is are interested in understanding the therapeutic process more in depth and would like to see if I would be a good fit for your therapeutic needs contact me for a free consultation at 405-323-1786

Happy Healing!

Michelle Smith RMHCI, MS

The Power of Language

Our brain produces roughly 50,000 thoughts every day. Whether we are mindful of them or not, our internal language or self-talk molds and shapes our overall perspective towards life. You can think of language as your own personal filter, governing the way you perceive, digest, and respond to the information gathered from the world around you. Many of the 50,000 thoughts are habitual, sometimes causing negative schemas that play into the decision making of everyday life.

To find out if your thoughts are shaping your life in a helpful or hurtful way take this simple test. First grab a pen and a piece of paper, find a place with minimal distractions and set a timer for two minutes. During that time, write down each thought that crosses your mind, even for a second. Thinking about lunch? Write it down. Mind jumping to that terrible conversation you had with your boss? Write that too. When your timer stops begin categorizing the thoughts as positive or negative. You may be surprised how your brain automatically wires towards the negative, in psychology we call this automatic negative thinking (ANT). Without awareness of these habitual patterns, we have little likelihood of changing these thoughts to eventually change our lives.

You may be thinking, OK I’m aware my language can use some improvement, but now what? The next step in changing those ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) is finding replacement thoughts and symbols to utilize when you notice your negative self-talk. You can utilize visualization and imagery to pump the brakes on negative thinking. For example, visualizing a large red stop sign indicating need to take a break. From there, saying something like “I got this” or “I am capable” can be a good way to switch the dialogue before it overpowers us. Find affirmations and symbols that are believable and resonate with you. Before long you will begin noticing a shift in the patterns of your language changing your emotions and behavior over time.

You can think of automatic negative thoughts as ants on a beautiful summer day. If one single ant made an appearance at your annual Memorial Day BBQ, you may shake it off and go on with your festivities with minimal concern. Now imagine if a swarm of hundreds even thousands of ants joined you and your BBQ, you may be more likely to be packing up and running for the hills! Don’t allow one automatic negative thought or ANT turn into hundreds, stop and make a change before your language overpowers your Memorial Day BBQ, or worse… your life!

If you or someone you love is struggling with negative thinking, depression, anxiety, life transitions, or other mental health concerns in the Palm Beach Gardens area contact Michelle Smith at 405-323-1786 for a free 30 minute phone consultation today!