Coping and Thriving in The New Year

Reflecting on the past and looking forward to the new year can bring up some sticky, funky, real and raw emotion that can leave you feeling depleted

The holidays can be a very emotionally exhausting experience:

?Maybe you have had a year of loss and are experiencing intense grief

?Maybe financial burdens and family and social obligation brought fleet of exhaustion that left you feeling emotionally debilitated

?Without proper attention, these feelings can manifest into longer term mental health concerns.

It’s important to take time and space in the beginning of the year to reflect where your going.

Take the time to set your intentions for 2019. Do you need more peace? love? patience? courage?

Whatever it is write it down. Look at it often. Make the commitment to you.

The more challenging part is protecting your energy throughout the year to manifest your intention to its fullest potential.

It’s easy to get sidetracked from our goals thanks to negative coping habits, toxic relationships, and fear of not being good enough.

It’s important to have a concrete plan on how you will protect your energy in 2019.

?How will you set your boundaries in 2019?

?What kind of emotional shield or armor will you put on to protect your peace?

?How will you make the commitment to consistently reapplying your shield during stressful times of the year?

If you are struggling with questions such as these, and believe mindfulness based counseling would be helpful to you I provide free phone consultations to potential new clients. I hope to hear from you in the new year!

Wishing you peace in mind, body, and spirit in 2019!

Warmly,

Michelle Smith

LMHC, MS

(305) 204-6378

4 Tips for Talking with Children and Teens After a School Shooting

Following the events at Santa Fe High School that occurred last week, parents are curious about what to say or how to address this tragedy with their children and teens. As a school counselor and psychotherapist, I know firsthand the amount of emotional turmoil these events can reek havoc on the family and school settings.

There is much advice on the internet about how to address this; however, if you keep these tips in mind you will be able to navigate through this conversation in an effective manner:

1.       Ask Questions and Discuss What Your Child is Seeing on Social Media

Most children and teens utilize smartphones to access the majority of their information regarding current events. As an adult, it is easier to decipher between “fake news” and evidence based information regarding the tragedy. If you have not already, sit down with your child or teen and ask what type of information they have gathered regarding the shooting and ask them to show you where the found it. Ask them how they know the information is credible. If they struggle to understand, take this as a teachable moment and show your son or daughter how to look up news articles, teaching them which resources are most credible and which ones are not (think Wikipedia, friends sharing social media posts). As a rule of thumb, if it didn’t come from a news source it’s important to fact check.

2.  Don’t Tell Someone in an Emotional State “Just Calm Down”

It can be challenging figuring out how to help your child or teen emotionally regulate after a traumatic event. Many times our own distress and frustration can get in the way of helping us information gather, rather than put a band aid on the presenting problem. How many times as parents have we used the overstated, “Just calm down already!” in high emotional situations. This statement invalidates the feelings your child is experiencing. Instead try something like “Yes, this is a scary situation and I understand your emotion. How can I help you through these feelings right now?”

3.       Don’t Sugar Coat It

A majority of advice I see on the internet states the importance of reiterating the safety in our schools and enforcing that the likelihood of a shooting happening in THEIR school is minimal. I tend to discourage sugar coating this issue. The reality is school shootings are becoming a “new normal” for this generation. Students in school today have more active shooter drills than fire drills, and are very aware that there is a possibility a shooting can occur. Instead normalize their feelings of fear and anxiety, discuss safeguards in place at their specific school, and rehearse the plan provided by your child or teens school.

4.       Assess for PTSD Symptoms Early

Sometime after the trauma has occurred, it is important to assess exactly what your child experienced especially if they were a victim or in the school during the time of the shooting. When your child is ready, ask them what they saw, experienced, and their involvement with the incident. If you notice symptoms such as avoiding school, recurrent distressing dreams, or persistent negative emotional states that last for more than a month than it is time to seek treatment. Your child may have early signs of PTSD which is a mental illness that cannot resolve itself without mental health professional intervention.

If you or someone you love is looking for therapeutic services in the Palm Beach Gardens area contact Michelle Smith, MS, RMHCI at 405-323-1786 for a free 30 minute phone consultation to see if I would be the right fit for you today!