Finding Purpose in the Pain

If you haven’t figured it out already, life is not all rainbows and butterflies. It hurts. It stings. It changes constantly. It is unpredictable. As a psychotherapist, my job is to guide clients to find purpose in their pain, to put meaning towards their experiences, and utilize them as a catalyst for growth instead of allowing these experiences to defeat us.

Here are 3 reasons that pain is necessary for growth on your journey:

1) To Learn Healthy Coping Skills

A diamond does not start out as the rock we know it as. It begins its journey as a piece of coal, and with pressure and time it becomes the lustrous rock we lust over. Humans are similar in the sense that without painful experiences many life lessons cannot be learned. Think back to your childhood and adolescent years, you likely have many memories that stand out. Some may be happy, and some may be not so happy, but they have molded you into the individual you have become today. Whether you accept it or not, more adversity will come your way. You have learned a specific way to cope with this adversity. If you don’t like the way you are coping, it may be time to change your habits.

2) To Connect You to Others

As humans, we are social beings. We need human connection to thrive, to be successful, and to grow in our life. We are not isolated in our journey. As we navigate through painful experiences, we are able to empathize and understand others in a way we may not be able to do without personal experience. Great wisdom comes from becoming resilient to the ever changing tides of our lives. The ability to be able to connect to universal human feelings such as sadness, rage, loneliness, and fear is something unique to human beings. Our connection is what isolates us from the rest of the mammal population. Your pain will shape your human connection.

3) To Prove, “You Got This!”

Whether you like it or not, at this point you are winning in your life. That’s right! You’re winning! You may not feel like it, but you are attracting what you are bringing into your life! Really think about the mindset and goals you have for yourself. You may be holding yourself back from growing from your experiences due to your self-talk and inner chatter. If you tell yourself, “I just need to make it through today” then you will do exactly that, but if you change the script to saying “Today I will find purpose and meaning in the painful moments” you are more clear in your intention.

If you are going through life transitions and are interested in allowing a psychotherapist to help guide you to finding your purpose contact me at 405-323-1786 to see if I would be the right fit for you.

Wishing you purpose, passion, and positive mental health!

Michelle Smith

MS, RMHCI

Individual, Couple, & Family Psychotherapist

(405) 323-1786

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