Therapy Doesn’t Have to Be Scary: What to Know Before You Go

Many times fear of the unknown stops potential clients from making that first phone call to begin receiving treatment, but therapy doesn’t have to be scary!

Keep reading for some important information to help ease anxiety you may have about seeking mental health treatment.

Therapists Do Not Provide Advice

If you are new to understanding therapy, you may believe entering a clinician’s office you will be expected to spill your deepest darkest secrets in record time, only to have someone sitting across from you say, “Well all you need to do is…” Although this is a very common ideology, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Seeking mental health treatment is different than speaking to family and friends about your feelings because we are trained specifically NOT provide advice to clients. Therapists instead will ask questions to support unlocking the wisdom already inside.

A therapist’s intention across the couch is to support the clients treatment goal progress by providing psychoeducation, and debunking irrational fears and beliefs while building a trusting and safe relationship.

Sounds less horrific already right??

You Have Control of Your Treatment

Another fear many clients come to the initial session with is that the therapist will control and manipulate treatment. For example dictating what is talked about during each session, or pushing clients to talk of uncomfortable issues before they are ready.

In reality, the therapeutic relationship (between the therapist and the client) is one of the most treasured and important parts of the process. Depending on your comfortability, it may take a few sessions before you are ready to begin diving into the content you came to seek a professional for… AND That’s OK!

While beginning treatment, your therapist will collaboratively work with you to identify your goals. Never feel pressured to share information you don’t feel comfortable with yet to try to get to results faster.

Let your therapist know how you are feeling. You will take an active part in treatment… after all, it is your life we’re talking about!

Confidentiality

Finally, and most importantly is the myths behind confidentiality which is the cornerstone of effective therapy. Confidentiality is simply, your right to privacy.

HIPPA, or the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, ensures your medical records and personal health information, including psychotherapy and mental health information, remains private.

That means, without your written permission your therapist cannot legally share any personal information to your family, friends, boss, cousin, or partner. They actually can’t even disclose if you are even their client or not without a release of information…(talk about hush hush!)

Keep in mind, there are certain limitations to confidentiality, which your therapist should explain in detail during your initial session.

There are benefits to utilizing a private pay therapist, if confidentiality is a major importance to your treatment. If your therapist appears unclear or rushes through confidentiality and it’s limitations, be sure to ask questions such as:

    What types of communication with my therapist are confidential ( ie: in person, email, phone, text etc.)
    If I’m billing insurance or using EAP what information is shared to my insurance agency/ workplace?
    What is the benefit of private pay regarding confidentiality?
    What are the limitations of confidentiality?

As a therapist, I have the amazing privilege of sitting alongside my clients journey, as they take inventory of personal feelings, emotions, and mental status.

This Halloween don’t let fear stop you from creating a life worth living! Begin discovering yourself TODAY with Michelle Smith Counseling, located off Northlake Blvd in Palm Beach Gardens, FL

Contact me at 405-323-1786 for more information on my therapeutic approach

Happy Halloween,

Michelle Smith

MS, RMHCI

michellesmith@discoveryourselftoday.com

405-323-1786

The Power of Language

Our brain produces roughly 50,000 thoughts every day. Whether we are mindful of them or not, our internal language or self-talk molds and shapes our overall perspective towards life. You can think of language as your own personal filter, governing the way you perceive, digest, and respond to the information gathered from the world around you. Many of the 50,000 thoughts are habitual, sometimes causing negative schemas that play into the decision making of everyday life.

To find out if your thoughts are shaping your life in a helpful or hurtful way take this simple test. First grab a pen and a piece of paper, find a place with minimal distractions and set a timer for two minutes. During that time, write down each thought that crosses your mind, even for a second. Thinking about lunch? Write it down. Mind jumping to that terrible conversation you had with your boss? Write that too. When your timer stops begin categorizing the thoughts as positive or negative. You may be surprised how your brain automatically wires towards the negative, in psychology we call this automatic negative thinking (ANT). Without awareness of these habitual patterns, we have little likelihood of changing these thoughts to eventually change our lives.

You may be thinking, OK I’m aware my language can use some improvement, but now what? The next step in changing those ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) is finding replacement thoughts and symbols to utilize when you notice your negative self-talk. You can utilize visualization and imagery to pump the brakes on negative thinking. For example, visualizing a large red stop sign indicating need to take a break. From there, saying something like “I got this” or “I am capable” can be a good way to switch the dialogue before it overpowers us. Find affirmations and symbols that are believable and resonate with you. Before long you will begin noticing a shift in the patterns of your language changing your emotions and behavior over time.

You can think of automatic negative thoughts as ants on a beautiful summer day. If one single ant made an appearance at your annual Memorial Day BBQ, you may shake it off and go on with your festivities with minimal concern. Now imagine if a swarm of hundreds even thousands of ants joined you and your BBQ, you may be more likely to be packing up and running for the hills! Don’t allow one automatic negative thought or ANT turn into hundreds, stop and make a change before your language overpowers your Memorial Day BBQ, or worse… your life!

If you or someone you love is struggling with negative thinking, depression, anxiety, life transitions, or other mental health concerns in the Palm Beach Gardens area contact Michelle Smith at 405-323-1786 for a free 30 minute phone consultation today!

4 Tips for Talking with Children and Teens After a School Shooting

Following the events at Santa Fe High School that occurred last week, parents are curious about what to say or how to address this tragedy with their children and teens. As a school counselor and psychotherapist, I know firsthand the amount of emotional turmoil these events can reek havoc on the family and school settings.

There is much advice on the internet about how to address this; however, if you keep these tips in mind you will be able to navigate through this conversation in an effective manner:

1.       Ask Questions and Discuss What Your Child is Seeing on Social Media

Most children and teens utilize smartphones to access the majority of their information regarding current events. As an adult, it is easier to decipher between “fake news” and evidence based information regarding the tragedy. If you have not already, sit down with your child or teen and ask what type of information they have gathered regarding the shooting and ask them to show you where the found it. Ask them how they know the information is credible. If they struggle to understand, take this as a teachable moment and show your son or daughter how to look up news articles, teaching them which resources are most credible and which ones are not (think Wikipedia, friends sharing social media posts). As a rule of thumb, if it didn’t come from a news source it’s important to fact check.

2.  Don’t Tell Someone in an Emotional State “Just Calm Down”

It can be challenging figuring out how to help your child or teen emotionally regulate after a traumatic event. Many times our own distress and frustration can get in the way of helping us information gather, rather than put a band aid on the presenting problem. How many times as parents have we used the overstated, “Just calm down already!” in high emotional situations. This statement invalidates the feelings your child is experiencing. Instead try something like “Yes, this is a scary situation and I understand your emotion. How can I help you through these feelings right now?”

3.       Don’t Sugar Coat It

A majority of advice I see on the internet states the importance of reiterating the safety in our schools and enforcing that the likelihood of a shooting happening in THEIR school is minimal. I tend to discourage sugar coating this issue. The reality is school shootings are becoming a “new normal” for this generation. Students in school today have more active shooter drills than fire drills, and are very aware that there is a possibility a shooting can occur. Instead normalize their feelings of fear and anxiety, discuss safeguards in place at their specific school, and rehearse the plan provided by your child or teens school.

4.       Assess for PTSD Symptoms Early

Sometime after the trauma has occurred, it is important to assess exactly what your child experienced especially if they were a victim or in the school during the time of the shooting. When your child is ready, ask them what they saw, experienced, and their involvement with the incident. If you notice symptoms such as avoiding school, recurrent distressing dreams, or persistent negative emotional states that last for more than a month than it is time to seek treatment. Your child may have early signs of PTSD which is a mental illness that cannot resolve itself without mental health professional intervention.

If you or someone you love is looking for therapeutic services in the Palm Beach Gardens area contact Michelle Smith, MS, RMHCI at 405-323-1786 for a free 30 minute phone consultation to see if I would be the right fit for you today!

Benefits of Therapy for Children During the Summer

The countdown is on! Days are getting longer, sun is getting warmer, and the last school bell is right around the corner (35 days away if your counting!).

For many children, summertime is a break with less responsibilities, more freedom, and less stress. Due to increased time for free play, promoting independence, and strengthening interpersonal relationships it may be a great time to start thinking about taking some of the availability in schedule to address certain symptoms you may have noticed your child demonstrating during the school year.

Before the School Year Ends

Take time to schedule parent-teacher conferences, follow up with guidance counselors, 504 contacts, and coaches to get a clear picture on how your child has adjusted throughout the school year. It is unlikely children will “grow” out of certain mood, impulse, behavior, or social struggles in a matter of months without support. In my clinical experience, abatement of school year stressors are likely to return, in more severe forms during the next school year if not addressed.

Availability to Focus on Home Based Challenges

If your child or teen struggles with behavior problems at home and in school, summer can be a great opportunity to hone in on improving skills in the home environment. Therapists can work with your child and family on identifying mood disturbances, increasing problem solving skills, planning and organization, and increasing positive communication in the family system. During the school year hustle and grind, it can be easy to allow these important goals fall to the wayside. Summer is a great time to tune up our emotional growth inside the family system (where change is most likely to stick!)

Structure

Change in routine can be wonderful, but also can cause uncertainty in the lives of school aged children and teens who are hardwired to schedules. Adding weekly therapy appointments provides routine and structure to the laid back feel of the summertime. Keeping children on consistent schedules has been proven to increase sense of security, positive self-image, and control in numerous environments.

Increase Your Family Tool Bank

Therapy provides an opportunity to learn and develop healthy coping strategies in a safe environment, but the benefits extend past changes in your teen or child. By engaging in this collaborative effort you are letting your child know the family is working to improve together, and it is a priority to the family to be the best you can! Benefits such as improved communication, reflection of feelings, and increased emotional connection are only some of the wonderful outcomes of investing in you and your child’s mental and emotional health this summer!

For more information on booking an appointment or consultation for your child, teen, or family contact Michelle Smith MS, RMHCI

405-323-1786